Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I'm tired and board...

So I'm in a much better mood today; my spirits are up and I'm feeling more comfortable being here. Yet I'm very tired. I didn't sleep well last night, so it is effecting the way I'm functioning today. Right now, I should be working on some material for my lecture tomorrow, but I'm too tired to think about resume writing. Yep, that's what I'm giving a lecture on -resume writing. How fun? I really don't know a lot about resume writing; in fact, I never wrote a resume until just the other day. Its not something I studied in college, but I remember some stuff from high school and I've done a lot of research on it... Still I'm not sure why I'm speaking about it, except for the fact that I'm an American and we use resumes for everything. Resumes have just started to be used over here in Russia, so I guess they think I'll know more naturally than they do. Oh well, I'll wing it and it will be fine and very educational for them. Plus, I've already made my resume for when I return -two birds one stone ;).

What a difference a day can make. Yesterday morning, I wasn't too happy about being here and I felt really depressed, but then I made a call home and all was right. I got to speak with my mom, even though it was only for four minutes, but it meant everything to me. It made me feel better just to be able to hear another native English speaker, and especially my mom's voice. Now I'm more at peace and think that as long as I stay in contact with people from home, the bad days will always pass. I was even able to write some poems last night; I've struggled with writing poems over here so far, but last night I wrote two pretty good ones. I'm not sure if they're really good but at least I was able to put words on paper in some sort of way other than this journal. One of the poems was about the amount of enforced chaos here. What I mean by that is everything seems like chaos to me -the way they drive, the way the stand in lines, the way they do just about everything. Yet, people here understand and follow it with no problem. Its not a big deal to them if someone cuts in front of them in line or if a car cuts them off while going 80 mph, its normal and expected. Then the other poem was about Alec, my Russian brother. I don't think it turned out the way I wanted it to, but at least now the words are there and I can change and manipulate them how I want too. It was nice just finally being able to calm down enough to write some creative work. In my mind, I've been playing around with the idea of making a collection of portrait poems here. For those of you who don't know what I mean, I'll explain. I want to write one poem or several poems about people I've either meet or seen here, just sort of describe them and what I see when I look at them. So each poem will be a portrait of either a person or a situation/experience I've been in. I think it would be good to see a modern look of Russia through the eyes of a foreigner, because it is so different from America or Europe, or at least I'm told. This will also be a good way for me to try and improve my writing, and also give me a chance to commit to something bigger than one or two poems and see if I can pull it off. We'll just have to see about that though... I guess I should try and prepare for my lecture tomorrow, but I like to just sort of do things and hope they turn out good. Knowing my luck, I'll totally freeze and not have anything to say when I'm in front of the class, so I better prepare some.

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